its you and your stupidity.. but im good now.

hi world.
just had a change of title. and sub- title. and i wont deny that the change was influenced by something i read, as written by another. just like how we cant really deny how much others actually influence our thoughts and actions. the way someone can inspire by his words, making you suddenly want to pen something down, no matter what, just something, anything, because you were that inspired. when previously, you didnt have the motivation to. but when you get down to it, you realise that inspiration is not enough. you got to want to write that something. and then you give up. and the cycle repeats itself.

anw, so yes.
please stop making baseless opinions. hearsay is not the strongest proof. you got to actually see the action for yourself before making the false statements. coz no one did anything. and sometimes, a little bit of brainwork would do the magic coz if you had actually used your brain to think about it, you'd realise its not possible.

i might be stretching things a bit but its these littlelest bits that usually go unnoticed by people and they just go on making claims that have no truth to it, not realising (coz they didnt make use of the organ up there, remember) that there are others called the 'receivers' who would feel the pinch of that baseless claim.

how easy you taint an otherwise innocent fun time.
the way the tiniest drop of ink stains.

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had a little talk with the folks about my next phase of life, which has long been a topic of self- discussion, cause for concern or worry, for me personally. coz honest to the truth, i have no idea. how badly i wish that i can say Yes! I So Know What I'm Going To Do In The Next 3-4 Yrs. No Worries Parents!

but no. im still left with a jaded mind.
made only worse with a blind heart. which sucks, really. because its in times like these that i really need to hear what my heart is saying and look to it to point me to the right direction. its like i wish i could, ok graphic details follows, pierce my heart open and carve out all the lanes, all the hallways, all the highways inside, whatever nook and cranny, in search for the hidden answer. i'd be frantic and panicky, hands all bloodied and i'd still be poking and carving my heart out, even the smallest crevices. i'd cry rivers of thick blood till its all dark and all that i can see is the hollowness of my heart. i can just imagine myself knocking my wet head against whats left of the walls, which resembles a sponge now really, with all the holes and gaps, just that its a bloodied sponge. and i never knew the taste of blood can be so savoury.

. . .

if you think im losing it, or being mental, just remember about the baseless claims.
im just being your normal teenager, albeit with a tiny bit more dosage of moroseness, on one of her off nights, seeking solace in the world of words. where she can be lost in her own idiosyncrasy. where she knows that what matters is her own train of thoughts.

and once all that steam is gone,
im good.
:)

hello once again.

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currently, RTM 1 is having this show featuring all the hits from 80s till now. and its a fact that the music scene (at least for us) was at its peak during the 80s - 90s with all the great songs and the rock grps with all their super emo rock ballads. right at this mmt, Saleem is belting out Suci Dalam Debu and if you're Malay and you dont know this song, yet you're old enough to have seen two people in the role of President of Spore, then alamak la you, gotta take a raincheck la. the West is not everything you know.

eh, jgn marah yer.
senyum senyum selalu ;]