when melancholy sinks in,
and pins you down,
it can get just very hard to even come up for air to breathe.

for clean air unpolluted with cynicism,
with ugliness of the human nature.

which is why they often say
be merry.
for when your heart is sad, it will be blind.

and i do try so.
but it can get so very draining with the shit happening all around.

you may look at me and have your own conceptions.
you may read this and form your own presumed conclusions.
but how would you know.

sometimes i long for you to come back to my side
just like before.

but i was the one who ended what we had.

i was the one who pushed you away.

your messages i didnt reply.
your concern i took lightly.
your mere presence i took for granted.

oh how i wish things could turn for the better.
how i wish i could rewind and be at the same old spot.

in down moments like this where i need an understanding ear,
an empathetic heart.
you're not around.

when i could use some wisdom or a comforting shoulder,
you're nowhere near.

but i shouldnt grieve so.
coz i was the one who pushed you away.


looking at the skies so dark and forlorn,
i wonder if you're looking at that same lone star.
and would you be thinking of me too.


oh how i wish so.