why cant i.

have you ever felt so empty inside, not knowing why you're in this world, what purpose you serve to those around, thinking that there is no place for you in this world and that life may be better for everyone else if you're not in their lives? cuz u're just too much trouble? have you then felt motivated by something someone said that made you change that concept of yours because to that person, you are the world and if there was no you, there is nothing left for him? are you then supposed to believe him wholely? but at the same time, there's a nagging feeling that he was just being selfish and that he doesnt really mean what he says? are you being too judgemental? or are you just going with what you're feeling? are you being too critical of him when he's just begging you to believe in him and life. that life is like that and that you just gotta be with him. that he'll be there with you anyway. all these words are so sweet and true but are they enough to make you any less cynic about everything? would it be sucha waste then that when someone at last is willing to put up with your flaws, its you yourself who is not ready to accept your own imperfections. a waste wouldnt you say. would you then be willing to love yourself and be accepting of your own insecurities because someone is already there waiting. just waiting. is it fair then to him to make him wait, when in fact, he has been waiting all his life? how much meaner can you be? how much disillusioned can you be? how much are you willing to give up? its just so sad, so tragic. that when someone is at last willing to accept you with all your flaws and imperfections, it is you who is not yet ready to let him.

chances are all that humans need to give to one another.
why dont you just open up and let your heart love.
why dont you just let go and devoid yourself of all the pain inside.
why dont you just for once believe in the goodness of others,
and let them touch you and move you.
why cant you.